12 Week Appointment

12 weeks 4 days today and yesterday, we finally got to go to the doctor! Unlike the last one, this one was super simple and quick. No ultrasound - we won't get our next chance to see the baby until 20 weeks - but we did get to use the handheld doppler on my belly to find the heartbeat! I was a nervous wreck laying there waiting as the doctor moved the probe around to find the baby. I think it only took maybe 30 seconds to find the heartbeat, but it felt like an hour to me - I was so afraid we wouldn't hear it! But baby's heart was still beating away and I'll never get sick of that sound. They like the heart rate to be between 140-180. Ours has consistently been on the higher end. It was 163 at 7 weeks, 171 at 8 weeks, and yesterday it was 172! Old wives tales claim that a higher heartbeat = a girl, but we will see :)

Other than that, they took my weight (128... ugh it's so hard for me to see that number go up) and my blood pressure. Your blood pressure is naturally supposed to be higher during pregnancy because your blood is going to the baby and your uterus. Before pregnancy, I routinely had low blood pressure, and now, while it is significantly higher, the doctor said it's still on the lower end - which is great! Less chance of complications as the baby grows! Oh and I was pretty excited to have a doctor's appointment where I didn't have to take off my pants - it's been awhile since that's happened!

I'm SUPER happy to be feeling better lately. My nausea is almost completely gone - I've made it a few full days without feeling it at all, but it still pops up occasionally at night. I find myself trying to eat sometimes when I'm not even hungry just because I'm so afraid of letting my stomach be empty and feeling sick. I need to try and get better at that. As the nausea has left, I've developed some fun new symptoms - yay. Dizziness, which is a result of the higher blood pressure - I rarely can make it through showering without having to sit down at some point. Headaches - again cause of the blood pressure and probably because I need to drink more water. And round ligament pain - apparently you have ligaments that support your uterus during pregnancy and as the uterus moves and stretches, the ligaments stretch and hit nerves. I mostly feel it at night and it wakes me up - mostly when I move in my sleep. It is reallyyyy hard to get comfortable at night and the sad part is, I know it's going to get way worse than it is now. But, I gladly take all of these over nausea any day!

We got to schedule 2 appointments when we left the OB! Our next appointment is at 16 weeks where we will do the same thing we did this time - quick appointment to check the baby's heartbeat and my vitals. ANDDDD the exciting one is at 20 weeks where we will do an anatomy scan and find out the GENDER! YAY! So the countdown is on till July 25! I don't think we are going to do a big gender reveal party, but we may just get our parents/siblings together and do something small to catch our reactions on video! Can't wait!!!!

11 weeks 4 days

...and getting SO CLOSE to the end of the first trimester! THANK GOODNESS!

I had to drive to VA for work the past two days which severely affects my normal work day routine and thus, my ability to function. I had to be up by 4am each day, get ready, and then drive 2 hours to make it there by 7am. After the 8 hour day, I then fought traffic for 3 hours to get home and crash in bed by 7:30 when, yes, it's still light out. Whew... it's not easy normally, but being pregnant and tired and hungry makes it even worse. Let's just say I'm happy to be back to my normal routine today :)

Also my pants REALLY don't fit anymore. I don't get it cause I only weigh 124 lbs, which is 4-5 lbs more than I weighed before getting pregnant and doesn't seem like a lot of weight gain, but somehow my stomach just looks SO bloated. The internet says my uterus is now the size of a grapefruit and baby is the size of a lime - lots of fruit going on inside me right now - so I guess that's why. But still, I wasn't expecting to have such a hard time with clothes already. I can't believe I'm admitting this on the internet, but I literally drove the whole way home from VA yesterday with my pants pulled down because it was that uncomfortable. Don't judge, it's a 3 hour drive people!!! Sigh... I've had 2 pairs of maternity pants in my "cart" online for like 2 weeks but haven't committed to paying the $50 for them yet... I'm thinking I just need to pull the trigger on that. 

Good news is I'm taking off Friday for Kyle's birthday which means 4 DAY WEEKEND!! Super excited to have some time to relax and have fun! Also, it will make the last few days before our next appointment go quickly!

Can't wait to hear that baby's heartbeat again! :)

Another Week Down

Today, I'm 10 weeks 3 days, baby is the size of a strawberry, and all of its major organs are developed and functioning! I'm also functioning, at least, better than I have been the past few weeks. I'm reallyyyyy hoping this upward trend continues and means that by 12 weeks, I'll be feeling like myself again!

The awkward stomach pooch is starting and it's quite frustrating. It's not big enough for anyone else to notice, but I notice it, and I basically just look bloated and like I ate too much at dinner. My work pants are really not buttoning anymore and yesterday I resorted to using a hair tie to button my pants together... ugh. The morning "what to wear" struggle is REAL.

For the first time in WEEKS, I woke up and had the energy and motivation to clean my house for 6 hours on Saturday!! I had nothing going on all day and Kyle had to sleep for work, so I just forced myself to get out of bed (after 13 hours of sleep) and get it done. Kyle has been amazing at cleaning here and there over the past several weeks, but let's just be honest, a boy's "clean" is just not the same. We were keeping our heads above water, but the house needed some serious Alyssa TLC and I was happy to be back at it! I could definitely tell a difference in how my body can handle what I used to "normally" do though. By the end of the day I was completely exhausted and my back was KILLING me - from CLEANING. what. the. heck.

Not much else going on around here. Two more weeks till our next appointment!

9 weeks 2 days!

We've officially hit the 9 week mark and now have exactly 3 weeks until our next OB appointment! The weeks somehow seem to fly by and yet take forever at the same time. I'm counting down the days until I'm done with the first trimester and (hopefully) start to feel like myself again. The past couple weeks have been ROUGH... and as much as I hate complaining about pregnancy symptoms because there were so many months that I begged for them, I'm just so ready to have my productive, energized self back.

This past weekend I worked my first wedding of the season. By normal standards, it was probably the easiest wedding I've ever done (not much set up, didn't have to be there till 2pm, etc.), but by pregnant Alyssa standards, I was DYING by the end of the night. On most wedding days, I'm on my feet for 10-14 hours, don't eat much, don't drink nearly enough water, and am up super late. I made sure to prep by sleeping a bunch the night before and packing TONS of snacks, but it didn't matter too much. By 9pm, I was exhausted and so sore. Luckily, by then there wasn't much work to be done (I brought along an assistant who was a life saver!!!), but waiting around from 9 to 11pm for everyone to leave killed me. And then I had an hour drive back home. I got home a little after midnight and completely crashed in bed and slept till around noon the next day. 

I had been feeling decent lately. Definitely not myself, but at least not as nauseous as I had been weeks 6-7. But I think that wedding was just too much for my body to handle and I was sick all day Sunday. I even had my first vomiting episode from being so nauseous - not fun. It seems that any change in my eating/sleeping/medicine-taking schedule really messes me up, so I have to try and keep that as constant as possible. 

Today, I still feel pretty crappy. Nauseous at work for probably the first time in 2 weeks. It makes it really hard to focus and I just want to lay in bed and sleep. My productivity at home is awful lately because when I get home from work all I want to do is sit on the couch and be in bed by 730pm. On the weekends, it takes all my energy to even do a load of laundry. Normally, I'm so motivated to clean, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. on the weekends, but not lately. Luckily, Kyle has been a HUGE help around the house. He's been picking up my slack on all the usual errands and chores around the house. 

This week's excitement? The 10 week mark!!! Come Saturday I'm cleared to STOP taking my hormone meds - progesterone and estrogen!!!! I've been taking these since my egg retrieval surgery back in mid-March, so I'm SO ready to be done with them!!! My dosage was already decreased a bit since we were discharged from SGF, but by 10 weeks, the placenta is providing all the nutrients the baby needs so I will no longer have to supplement with the medication! YAY for no more suppositories!!!!! SO PUMPED!

Always Something to Worry About

My aunt texted me the other day - it was the day we had our last ultrasound at SGF and saw the heartbeat - and she said, "So what's the next big date? I have to start worrying again!"

It's SO TRUE! I told myself, "after we hear the heartbeat, I'll feel better" and then I felt better for like, an hour, and then went right on with worrying about the next thing. I've come to realize that pregnancy is just 9 months of straight worrying followed by a lifetime of worrying about your child. Oh boy!

Luckily, after our last appointment at SGF, we only had to wait 4 days till our first regular OB appointment, so there wasn't too much time to worry, but still, we had our first scare in that 4 day time span. On Friday, I got home from work around 5:30pm, went to the bathroom, and changed my panty liner (I've been wearing these for WEEKS because of the progesterone suppositories I'm still on. Yes, it's getting extremely annoying). Anyway, I put on a new one, and by 7:30pm when I went pee again, I had a panic attack because I had bled a decent amount of bright red blood in that 2 hour timeframe. It wasn't a ton, but it wasn't just spotting either. Of course I immediately jumped to the worst scenario possible and thought I was having a miscarriage. We called the SGF emergency number so that I could talk to a nurse. I felt dramatic about calling, but it made me feel so much better. The nurse said since I had just had a vaginal ultrasound 2 days prior, it's normal for that to sometimes irritate the cervix and cause a small amount of bleeding. She told me to monitor it till the morning and if I was still bleeding by then, they would have me come in Saturday for an ultrasound. Luckily, I didn't bleed at all anymore after I called her, so I felt much better about it, but still, I was anxious for Monday to arrive so I could confirm everything was OK with the baby. 

Our appointment today at the regular OB was at 10am. We got there at 9:30 though because I had gobs of new patient paperwork to fill out. I think I mentioned on here before that I'm not going to my typical OB/GYN because she's in Towson. So, I went with a recommendation from a friend and SGF to try out this new one. They took us back at 10:20, which was kinda annoying, because it seemed we were the only ones there. The nurse took my vitals and put us in a room where we then waited another 20 minutes to see the doctor. Once he finally came in, we chatted about my medical history, family history, IVF stuff, etc. I told him about my uterus and he didn't seem too concerned about it - we honestly barely talked about it at all. He seemed to think it wouldn't cause any issues and that if it were to cause problems, they could easily refer me to a high risk specialist, but he assured me that he deals with high risk patients all the time. I wasn't really sure if it was a good thing that he wasn't concerned (meaning he's dealt with it tons before and has it totally under control), or if it's bad because he just doesn't care? I'm sure it's the former, but I'm just so used to being treated like I'm weird that it felt strange for him to be so normal about it.

Since it was my first time there, they did a full physical, which I wasn't expecting, so we were there awhile. He did an ultrasound (my favorite part!) so we got to see the baby and even hear the heartbeat this time! Baby is still growing on schedule and is even 3-4 days bigger than expected! They also gave me a LabCorp sheet with orders to get my blood drawn. Luckily (or unluckily..), there was a LabCorp in the same building, so Kyle insisted we get it over with... blah. It's been awhile since I got my blood drawn and instead of just 1 vial like normal at SGF, I had SIX taken - ew. 

The craziest thing?? My next scheduled appointment isn't for FOUR WEEKS! I don't think I've gone more than 2 weeks without a doctors appointment, so it's going to feel weird waiting so long!! I'll be 12 weeks by then, so the first trimester will almost be over - pretty crazy!

Now on to 4 weeks of worrying... :)

IT WORKED!!! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!

HI!!!!!!!

I know, I know, it's been forever!!! I've been hiding, and keeping a secret that... our IVF cycle WORKED and we are officially PREGNANT! AH!!!

I haven't done the "official Facebook announcement" to the world yet, just my loyal blog fans who have been checking in are getting the news today. Why today? Well we just had our final ultrasound at SGF today, saw the baby's heartbeat (ahhh!!), and officially "graduated" from the fertility clinic! 

There's been a lot going on over here since I signed off a month ago, so I figured I could use this exciting announcement post to update you on how it all went down :) This is about to get real long, by the way.

---

THE DAY WE FOUND OUT - MARCH 27

Back up.... wayyyy back... my embryo transfer was on a Thursday (March 23, to be exact). By Monday, March 27, 4dp5dt, I was going crazy. I had told myself that I was going to use an at-home pregnancy test on Wednesday morning, which would be 6dp5dt. I had even ordered pregnancy tests on Amazon to be delivered Tuesday night so that I wouldn't be tempted to use one until Wednesday morning (they say you should always pee on the stick first thing in the morning because your urine is more concentrated). Clearly, I don't know myself.

I was coming home from work that Monday evening and Kyle asked me to stop at the grocery store on my way home to pick up some stuff for dinner. "I'm SO not going to buy a pregnancy test," I told myself. Psssshhh yeah right. Of course, I couldn't stop myself and bought a pack even though they are way more expensive at the grocery store AND I already had 2 packs being delivered to my house the next day. Yes, I have a problem. 

BUT! It was night time, I had just peed before I left the office, I HAD to wait until morning to take the test. Yeah, ok "rational Alyssa." Even though I told myself over and over that there was like a 95% chance the test would be negative because it was too early and it was night time, I ripped the box open right when I walked in the door and Kyle rolled his eyes and laughed as I went upstairs. 

My heart was literally racing and my hands were shaking as I took the test out of the wrapper. I'd done this so many times before, always just to see a giant white space staring back at me where I prayed that second pink line would be. This time won't be any different, I thought. I was convinced it hadn't worked. I placed the pee-soaked stick on the counter - still shaking - and didn't let myself look at it for a good minute. When I finally got up the guts to peek, it was there. That blank space was no longer blank anymore. Two pink lines - the second one faint, really faint, but there was no doubt about it, it was there.

I immediately ran to the stairs (with my pants still around my knees) screaming KYLE!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO COME SEE THIS!!!!! LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT DO YOU SEE IT?!?! I was crying and screaming and Kyle kept looking at the test confused saying "it's two lines, is that a good thing?!" He was so unsure on whether I was happy or upset!!! I said "YES it's a good thing!! it worked!!!! we're having a baby!!!" We hugged and cried and laughed and it was the best moment ever. I got my excitement in check quickly though, because this was only the beginning - that line was faint, and I still had 9 days till my blood pregnancy test. Deep breaths. I spent the night in total shock, made sure I had enough pregnancy tests to last me the next 9 days, and found a black sharpie so I could label each test. OCD much?

---

THE PEE ON A STICK DAYS

What else would I title this section? The 9 days between finding out I'm pregnant at home and our official test at SGF. Obviously, I had to pee on a stick every day now to make sure the line was getting darker. Your hCG level is supposed to double every 48 hours in early pregnancy, so, while this is not technical or agreed upon by any doctor ever, the line should get significantly darker about every other day. And so began the constant testing and comparing of test sticks...

Yes, I kept sticks with week old pee... don't judge me.

They did get darker!!!!! There were a few days that I wasn't so sure, but on average they were definitely getting darker! YAY!

During this time, I told my bestie, Erin, the good news, cause she knows me WAY too well and knew I'd take a test ASAP. My sister Grace guessed by about 6dp5dt. I told a few friends who were closely following our story and my blog. But I think that was about all we told that early on. I tried SO hard to keep stuff from our parents because we really wanted to surprise them in person if possible (and we wanted to make sure the pregnancy was confirmed by my blood tests).

---

THE BETA TESTS

FINALLY it was time for my first blood test on Wednesday, April 5. I was a little nervous, but I was pretty confident from all my testing that we would definitely get a positive. I just really wanted to know what the number would be! From other online blogs I'd read, I expected it to be somewhere between 300-700, but that was really a total guess because hCG levels vary so much person to person.

My girl Carylene was there to draw my blood! She was happy to see me :) She asked me if I had "cheated" by taking an at-home test, to which I replied "...yes" - she was mad but laughed and wished me luck!

Luckily my nurse Tina didn't make me wait long and called and left a voicemail by 10:15am that day! I'll never forget her words, "Oh miss Alyssa, your numbers are BEAUTIFUL today and you are DEFINITELY pregnant" eeee!!! My hCG was 1,777!!!!! HOLY CRAP! They had me make another appointment for 2 days later - Friday - to do a repeat beta test. Even though I got a positive result, they like to get multiple measurements to make sure your levels are doubling every 48 hours.

So, I went back on Friday to see Carylene, who was ecstatic about my numbers :) Got my blood drawn, and again, Tina called by 10:30 with my new results. hCG = 5,719!!!!! It more than doubled! Woo hoo!!!

---

TELLING OUR PARENTS

After we got official word from the doctor from our beta test results, we decided we would tell our parents that weekend! (Although, I had already told my mom a week earlier when she was at my house). I managed to hold my dad off for a whole week telling him my test was postponed, that it took two days to get results, etc. etc. He was so clueless he believed me :) I was able to get a surprise dinner put together and told him that Friday night after our second beta test. He was SUPER surprised and felt dumb that he believed me all week :)

We saw Kyle's dad and step mom the next morning for brunch to tell them, and then his mom and step dad that evening at a family get-together that had already been planned - so that was easy!

---

ULTRASOUND 1

My first ultrasound was scheduled for April 12 - just the Wednesday after our second beta on Friday - but after getting constant reassurance the week prior with all the beta results, waiting that long felt like forever!!! 

I was only 5 and a half weeks at the time of the first ultrasound, so you can't really see much (the baby is too small), but the main goal is to see how many babies there are and to make sure the gestational sac is in the right place. Kyle AND my grandma (who surprised us!) were both there for it! Luckily we just had one baby and the sac was measuring right where it needed to be! Too early to see the heartbeat or the baby, but they told us we would see that at our second ultrasound two weeks later.

Here's our first ultrasound picture!

Oh! And on our way out of the monitoring floor, we saw Carylene! I showed her my picture and she was so excited for us. My grandma said, "is this your favorite blood draw nurse you always talk about?" Yup!!! I told Carlyene I'd be back in 2 weeks and she told me to make sure I come by to say bye to her before I leave!

---

ULTRASOUND 2 (TODAY!)

We scheduled our second ultrasound for 2 weeks after the first on a day when Dr. Sagoskin would be working the monitoring floor. Again, 2 weeks felt like a LIFETIME. But luckily, we stayed busy which helped. 

I was SO nervous this morning. What if the baby stopped growing? What if there was no heartbeat? They took us back 20 minutes late so sitting in the waiting room felt like forever. The ultrasounds are still done vaginally because the baby is so small and it's easier to see that way. As soon as the tech started the ultrasound it was clear there was definitely a little baby in that sac we saw just two weeks earlier!!  Amazing how much it grew in just two weeks!! Right away we saw the little heart beating away! I started crying - it was truly amazing!

From head to butt, our baby was measuring 7 weeks 6 days - 2 days ahead of schedule! It's heartbeat was 163 bpm! Dr. Sagoskin was in the room for the whole thing. He's a man of few words, but he said "it's perfect! You did it!" The tech recorded a mini video of the heartbeat beating away and let us take video on our phone. After I got dressed, they had us come out to meet with our nurse so we could get our "graduation" packet!!

They gave us a bunch of paperwork that I need to take to my regular OB and made sure we didn't have any questions. And a cute little frame with our ultrasound baby picture in it! It was SO surreal to think that this would be our last day at SGF!!

Everyone working at SGF must know the "graduation folder" because as we walked around with it, everyone kept saying "congratulations!" - it was so exciting :) I went and said bye to Carlyene and told her thank you for drawing my blood all those times. Then, we went to check out at the front desk for the last time! There's a guy that always does check out named Luis and every time you go up to pay your copay, he says, "do you need to make another appointment?" For SO many days I always had to say yes, but this time I said NOPE! Thank heavens!!!!

It was a pretty exciting day :) (Ok and I forgot to take a picture on my phone of the ultrasound picture - sorry! gotta add that later. I have video but for some reason Squarespace won't let me add it... ugh).

---

THE SYMPTOMS

They started pretty much right away. The first week after finding out I was pregnant, I had awful headaches that lasted pretty much all day and the exhaustion was like nothing I have ever experienced before. I usually go to bed early on a regular basis, but I mean I was falling dead asleep by 8pm every night. SO TIRED! Other than that, the first 3 weeks while I was 3-5 weeks pregnant weren't bad!

By the beginning of week 6 though, I was miserable. The morning sickness kicked in, BIG time. It was so weird because it was so sudden. One morning I just woke up and felt like death and it continued every morning after. I literally wasn't getting to work until 930-10am because it took me a good 2-3 hours to feel OK enough in the morning to get out of bed. Just awful and I felt like I wasn't even excited about the pregnancy anymore because I felt so bad. After about 4 days of this, I emailed my nurse, Tina, to see if she had any recommendations. I had already tried everything - eating small meals throughout the day, taking my pills with food, bedtime snacks, everything. Tina recommended a category A (super safe) prescription called Diclegis and she had some samples for me to pick up the very next day. Diclegis is basically just a mixture of Unisom and Vitamin B, so I didn't have high hopes of it working, but IT WAS A MIRACLE. I took it the first night and when I woke up the next day, it was like I was finally a functioning human again. THANK GOODNESS!

Since then, I've felt pretty good! Tired and hungry ALL the time. I eat pretty much every 3 hours and yet I've gained zero weight. Actually I've lost a few pounds. They say your metabolism kicks into high gear when you're pregnant, so I guess that's why. But don't worry, I totally expect the pounds to be coming on soon. My nausea has come back some, which I expected, because my hCG levels are still increasing a bunch, but the medication is at least helping still. Really hoping it will disappear as I enter the second trimester in a few weeks!

---

NOW - ALMOST 8 WEEKS!

It's crazy - the first trimester goes pretty fast because you essentially get to "skip" weeks 1-3! Technically, pregnancy counting starts at the day of your last period, so by the time you find out you're pregnant, you're already considered 3-4 weeks. I was 3 weeks 2 days when I got my first positive test, and that was SUPER early. So even though I'm almost 8 weeks now, the embryo was transferred only 5 weeks ago and I've only known I'm pregnant for about 4 weeks.

I'm almost done with the hormone meds - FINALLY. I'm still on my estrogen pill twice a day till Saturday and then I get to go down to once a day. Starting today, I only need to do my progesterone suppositories twice a day instead of 3 times - YES. I can't tell you how disgusting and awful those things are - I'm so glad to no longer have to do them at work now!!!! I stop both meds completely by May 13th!! Woo hoo!!!

On a more serious note, it's kinda crazy that all this is happening this week. This week is national infertility awareness week and I'm finding myself feeling just so appreciative and so blessed that we've come this far. I've met SO many women struggling with infertility through the Facebook groups I'm a part of and through this blog. Kyle and I are extremely blessed that we got this lucky and got pregnant after just one round of IVF - that is not the case with so many women I know. Many people go through round after round of IUI and IVF, face negative results, and then pick themselves up and do it all over again. These women are truly strong and truly brave. 

---

FUN STUFF!

Although premature since we hadn't yet heard the heartbeat, Kyle and I got pictures taken last weekend for our official baby announcement. You have to know I've been planning this in my head for forever - I've seen my fair share of baby announcements and I was never sure if I'd get to do one of my own - so this was super special for me! My sweet friend (and former bride!), Mikaela Marie Photography, took these images for us at 48 Fields and sent us this sneak peek below :) We are still waiting on the full gallery, but once it arrives, we will probably be posting these on Facebook next week!! [And yes, I know announcing you're pregnant at "only 8-9 weeks" is frowned upon because miscarriage is still a possibility, but I hate that whole thing. I want the world to know about this baby and if, god forbid, we did have a miscarriage, I'd feel a lot better having the support of everyone rather than hiding my feelings and living in that sadness alone. ]

And how can I not share these pictures! How amazing is Mikaela?!? And my friend Allison Dee Calligraphy provided us with these amazing signs! 

So what's next? Well, my first appointment with my regular OB is this coming Monday, May 1!! It's a new OB right near my house - my old OB/GYN was located in Towson which was just way too far for me to be driving regularly. Hopefully we like this one! My unicornuate uterus complications shouldn't come into effect until later in the pregnancy once the baby gets bigger and we see how my small uterus stretches, but if things get complicated, my OB will refer me to a high risk specialist. My reproductive issue is two-fold remember - prevented me from getting pregnant naturally & could cause pre-term labor or issues later in pregnancy. We have gotten over the first hump, but we still have a long way to go!

Thank you ALL for following along here on this journey!! And sorry for making you wait so long for an update ;) I haven't decided yet where this blog will go from here? Maybe I'll continue to update throughout my pregnancy - not sure yet - we will see :)

- Lyss

6dp5dt & signing off for a bit...

First let me say, sorry I haven't updated! My laptop at work had some technical difficulties and I've been without a computer for 2 days. Ugh... just when this week couldn't feel longer.

So we are officially 6 days past transfer day! My symptoms tell me things are going good. I have been EXHAUSTED. I mean like, I go to bed at 8pm, sleep for 10 hours, and then am tired again by 5 o'clock every day. I've had a little bit of nausea in the morning, but nothing too bad. My headaches have been pretty constant the past two days. But, I'm not complaining one bit. Bring on the symptoms!

The texts have been rolling in... "how are you feeling?" "have you tested yet?" etc. etc. It means SO much that everyone's checking in with me, but at the same time I'm struggling with how this is going to play out. I'm going to know any day now if this worked, and as much as I want to scream it from the rooftops if it does, I also want to be able to tell my family in person and surprise them, even though I know IVF takes away most elements of surprise in pregnancy. 

So, I'm signing off for a bit. And please know that I will tell you when I'm ready (family included!). 

Thank you EVERYONE for your prayers!! Keep them coming! I think it's working :) :) :)

4dp5dt

Wow I went 2 days without updating this blog! That hasn't happened in awhile :) I wanted to post over the weekend, but honestly there hasn't been much going on other than my mind counting down days.

On Friday after my last post, I did get some exciting news from SGF! Our second embryo ended up developing into a blastocyst the day after my transfer and was also the highest quality possible! It was sent for cryopreservation so it can be frozen :) This is GREAT news because regardless of what happens this cycle, having 1 extra high quality embryo means there's less of a chance that I'll have to go through the full IVF process again. If the worst happens and this cycle fails, we can do a frozen embryo transfer with this extra one. If the best happens (which it will!), we will have an extra one in case we are crazy enough to decide we want another baby someday. The bad part is, freezing has a first time price tag of $1,800 and then a yearly storage fee of $500. But, in the grand scheme of things, I'm thankful that's all we will need to pay considering our insurance has probably paid around $15-20k for all this IVF stuff, and that's not even counting the thousands that was spent on my tests for diagnosis.

How am I feeling? The question everyone wants to know the answer to :)

Overall, good! This weekend was a heck of a lot better than last weekend. It's hard to attribute any symptoms to a possible pregnancy because these hormone meds are causing most of it. I get headaches, I'm extremely tired and go to bed at 8pm, and yesterday, I was SUPER emotional. I literally cried all morning and was mad at Kyle for no reason. Taking Estrogen and Progesterone makes you feel that hormonal feeling you get when you're about to get your period, only like, a million times worse. Yesterday afternoon/evening I was pretty crampy, so I'm hoping that's a good sign of that embryo digging in :)

Taking the Progesterone is starting to get REALLY annoying. I don't think I've mentioned this on here before, but the progesterone medication is in the form of a vaginal suppository and it has to be taken 3 times a day. Yes. THREE. Not only is it annoying to remember to do that three times a day, but it is extremely annoying to be leaking progesterone 24/7. I'd honestly almost rather do one of my subcutaneous injections than these. Ugh.

According to the internet, if all is still going according to plan, our embryo should have started implanting over the weekend and is still implanting today. hCG should start being released any day now, and I've seen IVFers online get a faint positive on a pregnancy test as early as 5-6dp5dt. Confession: I've already ordered a box of tests from Amazon and they are supposed to be here by tomorrow. I'm still holding off on using them as long as possible, but my guess is the box will be broken open by the end of the week... SO NERVOUS. 

T-9 days and counting.

1dp5dt

1dp5dt = 1 day past 5 day transfer. This is an actual form of naming the days, I didn't just make it up :)

According to the internet, our little embryo (actually, it's technically a blastocyst) should be "hatching" out of its shell today. Do not ask me what that means cause I have no clue. I really wish I had an on-call embryologist that I could just ask questions to all day long. I've decided that being an embryologist has to be one of the coolest jobs ever.

Obviously, no symptoms yet. It takes an embryo around 48 hours to even start implanting and even then, it takes a few days for it to fully implant and your body to start making the pregnancy hormone, hCG. My doctor has convinced me numerous times that embryos do not fall out, however, it is very hard for me to comprehend that and I'm constantly worried I'm doing too much. These two weeks are going to take foreverrrrrrr.

Just trying to keep my mind busy and counting down the days (12 more, in case you were wondering).

Embryo Transfer Day & Officially PUPO!!!!!

PUPO: The unofficial term used by IVFers for your status after embryo transfer - Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.

Today was the BIG DAY! And before I get to details, let me just say, it went PERFECTLY!!!!! And how amazing are these shirts???? Mine says "Keep Calm and Implant That Embryo" and Kyle's says "Keep Calm it's Transfer Day." The picture is awful cause we were rushing to get out the door this morning and my broken phone sucks, but there's a better one below :)

I got to sleep in a little this morning since our appointment was later :) I was instructed to empty my bladder at 8am (75 minutes before transfer time) and then drink 16-20oz of water in the next 15 minutes. We left at 8 right after I peed, so I brought my water bottle in the car and timed myself with my phone. Naturally I'm not a very thirsty person and don't drink much, plus I'm already bloated from my ovaries and the hormones I've been on, so this was not fun. 270 traffic was AWFUL but luckily we still got to SGF on time. For some reason unknown to me, they tell you to be there 30 minutes before your transfer time, which apparently was pointless cause we just sat in the waiting room until 9:05. My guess is they want to make sure you're there and ready before they touch your embryos, but I'm not sure. So, we sat and I was in agony cause I had to pee SO BAD and was super nervous. After Day 2, they don't check on your embryos or give growth reports because they like to let them be, so today was the first time they were looked at since the 4 cell stage a few days ago. I've heard horror stories of women who have literally shown up to their embryo transfer, were waiting in the waiting room, and then they come out and say "sorry, none of your embryos made it" ...ugh I can't IMAGINE.

Finally they called us back, had us take off our shoes, checked our IDs, put on our identifying wrist bands, and led us to our room. At this point I was in pain I had to pee so bad - flash backs to Saturday when I had a bladder full of blood! Just kidding, not that bad. The doctor and ultrasound tech came in and went over paperwork with us (they literally do a million checks of your name, birth date and social security number to make sure they don't give you someone else's embryo lol). We found out that 2 of our 4 embryos weren't developing great and had a low chance of surviving, 1 was doing pretty good and had a chance to make it to the blastocyst stage for freezing by tomorrow, and our 1 for transfer was PERFECT! Literally they said it was "beautiful," "textbook" and the "highest quality possible" EEEK!

They waited until the embryologist was ready (they had a speaker that she talked through to the room!) and then the fun really started! And I'm not being sarcastic when I say "fun" - it really was fun!!!! They got me all set up in the right position, stirrups, as per usual, and set up the abdominal ultrasound (yay for no vaginal ultrasound for once!). They had a giant TV on the wall in the room that they could push the ultrasound to so we could see it. Also! The embryologist and our embryo was right on the other side of the wall! Jeanette (our embryologist) put the embryo under the microscope and we got to see it on the TV screen!!! SO COOL!

The doctor inserted the catheter into my uterus and we could see it on the screen. As soon as everything was ready, he said over the speaker "ok we're ready" and Jeanette put the little embryo into a pipette, brought it into the room, they did one FINAL check on names, and then pushed it through the catheter into my uterus! The tech video taped it on the ultrasound and we have video seeing the little blip as it went in! I'm telling you this was the coolest thing ever. Jeanette went back out to look at the pipette and catheter under a microscope - they like to make sure the little embryo was successfully transferred!

The whole process only took about 5 minutes! Afterwards, I had to lay down for 5 minutes, but Jeanette came in and gave us the CUTEST little keepsake from this day with a picture of our embryo. I mean how cute is this?! And how many parents have a picture of their 5 day old embryo??

Everyone LOVED our shirts. They actually had other nurses come in to see them. Jeanette loved us and said we were her favorite couple ever and kept raving about our embryo. I mean it could have been all show, but it was exciting and I was totally soaking it in. I finally got to pee before we left - whew. And we got the nurse to take our picture with our embryo photo! First family pic?? Haha!

So now we wait!! I'm just praying praying praying that this little thing implants and we end up successful! We won't be back at SGF till April 5 for my test! I still plan to update here over the next two weeks if I start feeling any symptoms or if I need a distraction from the wait. Thank you to everyone who checked in and cheered us on over the last month!!! We are so thankful and so excited!!